Missing You
by blackatt
Summary: Merlin is away and Arthur is angsting about it A/M SLASH


**Title: **Missing You  
**Author: **Blackatt  
**Pairing: **Arthur/Merlin  
**Disclaimer: **nope, not mine if it was then Gwen would not have went anywhere near Arthur  
**Warnings: **SLASH + a little bit of Angst!Arthur  
**A/N: **Again, thanks to all who reviewed/favrorited and a cyber cookie to anyone who can name the songs refernced in the story (clue: there's 4)

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Merlin had been called back to Ealdoras his mother was sick, he had informed Arthur of this two minutes before he was leaving and told him that he had no clue when he would be back – a week or two maybe?

Arthur, of course had no problem with this, why would he? Merlin was just his manservant, even then he wasn't a particularly good one. And despite what Morganna and the servants, yes he knew they talked about him, he did NOT miss Merlin.

Not a little, not a bit, not at all.

He did not miss how Merlin was always late making his breakfast cold, nor how when he would walk in late he would barge in making a racket. He did not miss how Merlin would sometimes look at him as if he could see right through the facade he put up and knew he would be a good King. He did not miss the way Merlin smiled at him, nor how his eyes,_ his beautiful blue eyes_, would light up when he smiled. He did not miss that hideous neck scarf that he always wore around his pale, _tempting_, neck.

No, he did not miss Merlin. Not a little, not a bit, not at all.

He still trained his Knights, if sometimes he hit a little too hard well he didn't have Merlin to take his frustrations out on. He still went on patrol, all the while thinking of Merlin. He still went to meetings with his father, wishing that Merlin was there to distract him by pulling a face while his father's back was turned.

No, he did not miss Merlin. Not a little, not a bit, not at all.

Where had Morganna and the servants gotten that idea from? He was perfectly fine without his stupid, incompetent, bumbling manservant. Except that he wasn't. He thought about Merlin constantly, during training, on patrol, while with his father, all the time.

So, maybe he did miss Merlin. Just a little, just a bit, oh bugger it he missed Merlin all the time and he had only been gone for a week!

His musings were interrupted by a knocking on his door, which made him think of Merlin and how _he_ never knocked. He shouted for the person to come in and was informed that his father needed him. Here we go, he thought as he was walking towards the council chambers, his father would most likely be wanting to have a chat with him about how magic was evil and you shouldn't trust it or the people who used it.

It wasn't magic that his father wanted to have a conversation with him about. It was his _recent behaviour_, what recent behaviour? He was still acting like a Prince should, he had not been drunk in over a month thanks to Merlin's protests about that last time he was, he had not argued with his father, he hadn't harmed anyone. So why did the King want to see him?

"Arthur, are you quite alright? You haven't been your usual self this week. Is it that manservant of yours? Martin or something? I heard he went back home, is that why you are moping about?" He was NOT moping. What had given his father that idea?

As Morganna pointed out, "Perhaps your lack of concentration during the meetings or at dinner, or how when you come off patrol to give him a briefing you can barely tell him where you went on patrol. Or maybe it's the fact that your walking around like someone just took away your favourite toy." – "Merlin isn't my toy!"- but he wasn't acting like that was he?

No he couldn't be. He couldn't be acting like a love sick maiden over _Merlin. _

It wasn't as if he needed him, because he didn't. He most certainly did not need him like he needed oxygen. He didn't need Merlin to keep him happy, he was happy now and Merlin wasn't here. He didn't need Merlin to pressure him into talking about things, he was a Prince he didn't need to talk about his feelings. He didn't need Merlin to tell him that he was doing the right thing, or that he would still be there for Arthur. He didn't, but hearing Merlin say it? It made Arthur _want_ to do the right thing, it made him _want_ to help people and it made him think that he _could_ be a good King.

So maybe he did need Merlin. Just a little, just a bit, hell he need Merlin full stop.

Not that he was going to admit that. No, he was a Prince he had his dignity. So no one could know that he need Merlin, not even Merlin could know that because if Morganna found out? Well let's just say living the rest of his life in woman's clothing would be less humiliating and easier.

It didn't matter anyway, Merlin was still gone and he was stuck in Camelot trying to do his duties and act like he wasn't missing part of him. All he need to do was wear his mask a little longer, he needed to keep up his facade of not missing Merlin. Mostly for Merlin's sake not his own, if anyone found out that Arthur need Merlin it would be bad for Merlin. People could try and hurt him to compromise Arthur and leave him venerable.

He didn't know how it had gotten to this stage, when Merlin had first come to Camelot no one bar Gaius had known his name. Then he and Merlin had collided, he had hated Merlin for standing up to him but it had made him think. Merlin had made quite an impression on him, to the point where he was always on Arthur's mind. It was his smiles Arthur thought, the way he always had one for anyone who needed it, a person's day could be perked up simply by Merlin smiling at them.

He was wasting his time thinking about Merlin but all he could do was lay in his bed wasting time thinking about him and his perfect eyes. What would Merlin be doing if he was here? Cleaning out the stables, or his armour? If Merlin was here would he waste time with Arthur laying here?

The point was moot anyway, if Merlin was here he wouldn't be laying on his bed wishing he was here so Merlin couldn't lay with him wasting time thinking about him. Why did he always think of Merlin? He meant nothing to Merlin, so why did it feel like his heart was missing?

Because he didn't miss Merlin. He didn't need Merlin. He didn't mind lying to himself because he didn't want anyone to know.

So why did it feel like everything meant nothing without Merlin? Why did it feel like he meant nothing without Merlin? God he sounded like a girl, Merlin had only been gone a week and he was acting like a love sick maiden. He could survive without Merlin. He could live without Merlin. He didn't _want_ to but he could. He was Arthur Pendragon, son of King Uther Pendragon and future King of Camelot he could do anything he wanted to.

One person should not affect him so much. One Person should not have changed him so much. One person should not want to make him want to promise the world. If that person was Merlin, he could though. If not for Merlin he could have become his father, if not for Merlin he could still have been that arrogant Prince.

He was, how did his father put it? Moping about again. He had to stop it. Merlin was not the be all and end all, he had other things to do. With resolve he stood up and walked out his room to train his Knights. He got about half way through the training session before he was distracted by a flash of black hair. Gritting his teeth he shoved Merlin out of his mind and swung his sword at Percival harder making the Knight stumble back. He wrapped up the session pretty quick after that, surprised to hear clapping he spun around to find Merlin leaning against the fencing.

Merlin. The man he did _not_ miss. The man he did _not_ need. The man he did _not_ mope over. The man who did _not _just make him drop his sword.

He walked over slowly, never moving his eyes from Merlin's face scared that if he did Merlin would disappear. When he got over to him Arthur said "Merlin?" getting a nod and a cheeky smile in return, grabbing Merlin's arm he dragged him up to his chambers.

Once there Arthur pushed Merlin against his door, he kissed Merlin's forehead and mumbled "I missed you." He kissed Merlin's cheek and mumbled "All I could think of was you." Finally he kissed Merlin on the mouth and said to him "I _need_ you." After showing Merlin just how much he needed him Arthur said "never leave me again, I was a wreck without you".

Merlin was never away from Camelot for more than two days after that and never away from Arthur for more than a day.


End file.
